I am stressed out here people. Things in my world have been turned upside-down.

I went on the record a little while back…saying that Scientists needed to get their shit together and keep our group of planets tight…and not be letting any rifraff in (asteroids, moons, my ego etc.). So what do they decide to do? They kick pluto right the fuck OUT of the solar system!

What a bunch of douchebags!

They’re all “Pluto is an Icy Dwarf…not a planet…not anymore”.

Tell that to my now-inaccurate lunchbox (comeplete with thermos) jackasses. I will now have to put black electrical tape over Pluto.

What’s worse, the world will now likely spend a couple billion dollars correcting textbooks, space exhibits etc, all because some fucking nerds want to be “accurate”.

Fuck accuracy you morons.

Sometimes you just have to bend the truth to keep things status quo…like the time I passed out when I was having sex with a girl. At the time I still counted it as a sexual experience, thus adding to my “number”. There’s no way I can look back now and say “you know what, I’m not going to count it anymore…I mean I did kind of break her nose in the process of passing out”.

You made the decision…live with it….dweebs.

Plus, “Icy Dwarf”???? What the hell is that? You can’t even leave Pluto with ANY dignity?

It goes from:

To:

I’m sure Pluto is really fucking happy right now. And I’m sure that the makers of Schoolhouse Rock and “Interplanet Janet” are really psyched to be going back to work to re-record their little jingle…which of course is way off-beat now.

Way to fuck up life scientists….get to work on AIDS or something.