Kudos to StayPuft for introducing a new website to me, called Googlefight.com.

Basically what it does is compare google results between two topics, phrases or words.
As an example, if I put “douche bag” in the first spot, and “giant flaming homo” in the second, it will show me that Douche Bag comes back with over 2.5 million results (most of them pertaining to Ryan Seacrest), and Giant Flaming Homo returns with just over 100,000 results, all pictures of Dr. Von Nostrand and/or Ryan Seacrest.

So I think you get the point.

Now what I’m going to do is prove once and for all that the absolute most abundant topic on the internet is porno (aka prOn, if you’re an a-hole).

First up: Let’s Compare porn to something that should be on every concerned citizen’s mind right now. The L.A. Lakers.

FIGHT #1 - GAY SEX vs. LA LAKERS

And the winner is … GAY SEX, with a throbbing 150 million results. The LA Lakers came back with 12 million results, and I’m sure that more than half of them are naked pictures of Laker Girls, or Shaq’s “basket”balls.

Okay, now I’ll choose something a little more popular than the LA Lakers. How about John Travolta?

FIGHT #2 - JOHN TRAVOLTA vs. HUGE TITS

And the winner is …. HUGE TITS. Normally I would say something funny about how John Travolta has huge tits, but I can’t lie. That man is a handsome devil. You’re the one that I want, Mr. Travolta, wooo hooo hooo.
The Score was 13 million to 8 million. Not a bad fight… John threw in a couple nice jabs.

FIGHT #3 - NICOLE RITCHIE vs. PARIS HILTON

The winner … Paris Hilton. Although I would love to attribute this to her great new album, or her role in House of Wax, I think we all know why she had more results. Shame on you and your lack of sex videos, Nicole.

Okay, ONE more because frankly this is getting erotic. (like I said John Travolta is just so damn foxy). This time I am going to choose something random and compare it to the same thing but with one word changed to “sex”.

FIGHT #4 - MARSHMALLOW MOUNTAIN vs. MARSHMALLOW SEX

And what do you know. Marshmallow sex just barely sneaks by. I don’t know what these people are doing with marshmallows but I am very intrigued.

So what is the real point of this? Nothing, I’m bored. However, when I was cheating my way through this I actually discovered that anything News related gets more results than porn. Good job, internet. I wonder if some of those news topics are related to porn somehow… They must be. Or else I’m going to have to change my entire outlook on these so called inter “nets”, and the reason for their existence.

Maybe useful and valuable information can actually be found on the internet…

Anyway, no time to figure that one out, marshmallow sex awaits …