I am stressed out here people. Things in my world have been turned upside-down.

I went on the record a little while back…saying that Scientists needed to get their shit together and keep our group of planets tight…and not be letting any rifraff in (asteroids, moons, my ego etc.). So what do they decide to do? They kick pluto right the fuck OUT of the solar system!

What a bunch of douchebags!

They’re all “Pluto is an Icy Dwarf…not a planet…not anymore”.

Tell that to my now-inaccurate lunchbox (comeplete with thermos) jackasses. I will now have to put black electrical tape over Pluto.

…continue reading From Hero To Zero

Kudos to StayPuft for introducing a new website to me, called Googlefight.com.

Basically what it does is compare google results between two topics, phrases or words.
As an example, if I put “douche bag” in the first spot, and “giant flaming homo” in the second, it will show me that Douche Bag comes back with over 2.5 million results (most of them pertaining to Ryan Seacrest), and Giant Flaming Homo returns with just over 100,000 results, all pictures of Dr. Von Nostrand and/or Ryan Seacrest.

So I think you get the point.

Now what I’m going to do is prove once and for all that the absolute most abundant topic on the internet is porno (aka prOn, if you’re an a-hole).

First up: Let’s Compare porn to something that should be on every concerned citizen’s mind right now. The L.A. Lakers.

…continue reading An Epilogue Into Why Al Gore Invented the Internet

As you may or may not know, I am a person that likes to reflect on the past. I say fuck the future, the past ruled. If I could, I would go back into the past to the very summer I am going to talk about in this blog. So much tomfoolery, so little time.

So my best friend at the time, Craig, was literally my next door neighbour (yes we tried the whole aluminum can and string telephone… don’t even get me started on that piece of tripe). Just try to imagine the hilarity that ensued.
…continue reading Summer of ‘69 (give or take 30 years)