I have a friend who often sends me all of the crap forwards and chainmail she gets from her friends. Some of the things she sends me have religous themes. Personally I believe organized religion is the devil. However, I usualy get sucked into reading them anyway because they are always good for at least a little giggle.

I particularly enjoyed this one because it plays on peoples emotions towards religion to fuel a chain letter. And its in the form of a poem! Aaww, isnt that clever. You know some effort went into this.

Dear God,
I’m writing to say I’m sorry
For being angry yesterday
When you seemed to ignore my prayer
And things didn’t go my way

First, my car broke down
I was very late for work
But I missed that awful accident
Was that your handiwork?

I found a house I loved
But others got there first
I was angry, then relieved
When I heard the pipes had burst!

Yesterday, I found the perfect dress
But the color was too pale
Today, I found the dress in red
Would you believe, it was on sale!

I know you’re watching over me
And I’m feeling truly blessed
For no matter what I pray for
You always know what’s best!

I have this circle of E-mail friends,
Who mean the world to me;
Some days I “send” and “send,”
At other times, I let them be.

I am so blessed to have these friends,
With whom I’ve grown so close;
So this little poem I dedicate to them,
Because to me they are the “Most”!

When I see each name download,
And view the message they’ve sent;
I know they’ve thought of me that day,
And “well wishes” were their intent.

So to you, my friends, I would like to say,
Thank you for being a part;
Of all my daily contacts,
This comes right from my heart.

God bless you all is my prayer today,
I’m honored to call you “friend”;
I pray the Lord will keep you safe,
Until we write again…

(Please forward email to all your friends..)

My first thoughts on the poem… rhyming “late for work” with “your handywork” is nothing short of brilliant. This person deserves some kind of award, like a Pulitzer. The author of this poem is like the Bill Shakespere of poetry. Now I thought the poem in itself was funny, but not quite as funny as the comments Thrillhouse had.

Thrillhouse says:

Seriously, it’s emails like this feul my hatred for all mankind.

I especially liked how it implied that God had something to do with hooking this whore up with a sweet red dress, on sale. Yay God! You truely are divine! Thank you for making this dress go on sale! You are an omnipitent being who’s infinite power can be used for the greater good of all mankind, for instance - getting me a cleavage-showing slutty red dress!

Oh, and thanks God for fucking over those other assholes that thought they could buy that house before me. God, you are vengeful so you burst the pipes on their Hindu asses. That will teach them a lesson!

And thats how I feel about that.